Act I Edit
Jack Nickalus plays Frank Costello, head of the Mafia. Matt Damon meets him at a young age and becomes his intern. Eventually he goes to the Police Academy (good show) and becomes an officer but is still loyal to Costello. At the same time, Dicaprio becomes a spy and works for Costello but is really working for the police (good band). Mark Whaleburg sends Dicaprio on a mission to steal some computer chips that Costello is selling to the Chinese, but Damon warns them. The Chinese are able to escape on a boat but not before Dicaprio boards a boat of his own known as the Titanic. Whaleburg hops on board and they head out to sea but are caught in a perfect storm. Meanwhile the Chinese are able to go to Ellis island and get there visas.
Act II Edit
If the Chinese are allowed to stay in this country they will get all are secrets and sell them to there own government who are Mao worshippers (with connections to Obama). Whaleburg needs to find the rat before that happens. He finds the train that the Chinese are on bored called the Chungking Express. He rigs it with explosives, if the train goes over 50 the bomb is armed and if it goes under 50 the bomb is unarmed. What do you do, what do you do. The Chinese are scared so they agree to be deported and there visas are declined. Then Damon shows up on the American Express and tries to give them new cards but Dicaprio hacked into his computer and destroyed his credit. The train is deported back to Hong Kong and aint no gettin offa this train because it can only go where its rails take it. Costello is arrested for hiring ilegal immigrants and has to pay a small fine. Dicaprio is deported under §237(a)(2)(A)(iii) for an aggravated felony. At the end Damon dies and a rat appears and winks at the screen. To be continued in Rattatoullie.
"I have become comfortably numb"