Robert Edward "Ted" Turner III (born (identity not verified because he hasnt shown us the birth certificate) November 19, 1938) is an entre...entrepan...enrepren?.....businessman who is famous for founding WCW. He also was owner of the Atlanta Braves, founded CNN and also TBS (Very funny) and TNT. He created the envirowhacko propaganda show "Captain Planet" and was married to trader Jane Fonda. Money fell into his lap and instead of using it for good he used it to be a liberal. Maybe the only good thing about him is he invented Teds Montana Grill which has sweet bison burgers.
225px-Ted Turner LF-1-

Turner authored the Turner Diaries while hiding from Obamas Nazis. He later joined them from Stockhome Syndrome

Stupid vegeterians dont know what there missing.

Early life Edit

Turner was rich and grew up in Georgia. He attended Brown University but was expelled, although he maintained school ties and was later given a dishonorary B.A. by them in 1989. He was a huge disappointment to his father.

Career Edit

After convincing his father to commit suicide Turner took over the family business at age 24 and bought the Braves and the Hawks and invented CNN and tried to buy MGM. He attempted to try to control the entire hollywood and media and make it liberal which he did. He also bought the most land in America, which has frightening parallels to controlling everything. He founded the Goodwill games to try and take over the Olympics and this scares me. If he really wanted to support Goodwill hunting down the soldiers that his wife refused to help in Vietnam might be a good start though. She acted the informant and instead of saving Private Ryan or whichever POW she saw, she ripped up the messages they gave her and reported them to Viet Cong. However Turner doesnt care about the troops and he only cares about all the pretty whore says about how the USA are the bad guys.


CNN became the first cable news network and was Turners way of helping the Liberal Media take over the airwaves. During Operation Dessert Storm CNN was watched by many due to its coverage, however no one on the channel was really supporting the troops, for example none of the reporters suggested that we needed to invade more countries besides Iraq, and should perhaps consider nuking Iran, Libya, or Syria. Nationwide, patroits were appalled and decided they wanted a REAL news network for REAL Americans. This paved the way for Rupert Murdoch, Turner's greatest rival, to come into the fold with FOX News, and a star was born. Supremacy over the cable news networks soon followed, and forever thereafter CNN was doomed to obscurity.

Personal life Edit

He was married to Jane Fonda which is treason. He supports universal health care, also treason. He is the largest private landowner in America, however he only bought all that land to keep people from using it, and has probably approached the adjustment bureaus of zoning committees to have it gerrymandered into some sort of "green" zone. Instead of finding foresters to make use of the trees, he would rather be an envirowhacko and preserve that crap. He believes in global warming and is against offshore drilling. He only cares about saving the trees and the land and the oceans. Try logging and actually doing something of progress you stupid progressive.

Legacy Edit

He will forever be remembered for calling people who support Ash Wendsday "Jesus Freaks" because of their support of Catholic dogma and for referring to pro-lifers as "Bozos". He pledged $ 3,000,000,000 to the UN to spread communism as well, which could create a lasting effect of strongly worded letters and bias against America and Isreal, are greatest ally. Although he has five children, the hippocrat has called for everyone else in the world to have only one child, not allowing anyone to have sisters or brothers, grimly suggesting there may be an overpopulation problem but it shouldnt apply to HIM. Typical liberal. They want to impose an "only one child born" ultimatum on us but they should be free to multiply so that they continue to recieve wellfare checks. Double standards.

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