225px-Ted Kennedy, official photo portrait crop-1-


Edward Moore "Ted" Kennedy (February 22, 1932 – August 25, 2009) was a national disgrace. Under fire for years for his numerous crimes, Kennedy always was able to evade punishment even after killing a woman in 1969. He served as Massachusetts Senator for 46 years and for him ruining America was as easy as ABC as there were a bunch of committees on which he would sit, committees where he used his power to try and destroy freedom. This continued until he died in 2009 leaving us all better off. Ted Kennedy will forever be remembered as a murderer and worse, a liberal.

Early life Edit

Kennedy was born into the Kennedy family, the youngest of nine children to Joseph and Rose and although it was a full house of criminals he quickly stood out as the worst of all of them. As he grew up he experienced no growing pains and had many happy days as he as able to get whatever he wanted due to family connections. Typical liberal. He joined the army but then decided "F troops" and literally desserted them by being discharged without having to fight in the Korean war. Wow, using family connections to avoid fighting in the war? Typical liberal.

Chappaquiddick Edit

Kennedy, like his whole family, was always being unfaifhful and sexually assaulting women. There is no question that this is what happened on that night because Kennedy was ugly. Bet he probably got rejected and then decided to drown that girl as a result. So he killed her and went home. Afterwards the police investigated and Kennedy claimed he accidentally crashed the car into the water and couldnt save the girl so he decided to leave it. To be very clear, even if that true it would still be manslaughter, but he was never prosecuted. Why? Gee I wonder. Years went by and Kennedy never once apologized for his actions.

Presidential run Edit

He ran for president in 1980 after he felt it had been long enough since he murdered anyone that he wouldnt get bothered for it. According to Jimmy Carter, Kennedy was NOT the right choice for President. Well that was the only thing Carter was ever right about, and Kennedy lost in the primary. Carter then lost in the general election to the great Ronald Reagan.

Senate career Edit

180px-Senator Edward Kennedy with President Barack Obama 4-21-09-1-

Like the meeting between Lenin and Stalin

Kennedy was the most liberal senator. After being elected soon amassed a lot of power. Like a typical lib, he looks at all the stuff that proves his philopsophy is wrong and then he spins it. He makes it seem like hes actualy right and its others who were wrong. He was able to do this for a long time. John Carrey soon became his fellow Massachusetts Senator, and although at first they were perfect strangers, the odd couple soon realized that they were the most dangerous and liberal of all the liberals and could use this to there advantage. Together with Carrey he was able to turn Massachussetts into a liberal socialist paradise, and because of propaganda there was very little criticism that either of them drew. Carrey showed Ted how to swiftboat people and in return Ted showed Carrey how to kill people. It was a criminal match made in heaven. Kennedy later supported Carrey in his run for President in 2004, and supported Obama in 2008. Both of whom were the most liberal senators.

Political positions Edit

Firearms Edit

The NRA gave him a lifetime grade of FAIL, while he got a lifetime 100% rating from the "Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence in honor of Sarah and Jim Brady". Bunches of people have been protected by guns but nobody has ever been killed by guns (guns dont kill people people kill people) so these ratings pretty much says it all.

Abortion Edit

He recieved 100% ratings from Naral Pro-choice America and Planned Parenthood, and less then 10% from the National Right to Life Committee. Wow, the guy doesnt just kill a grown woman, but also a baby! Talk about a murderer! Look, people who think things like this are a matter of opinion are probably the biggest thing I hate. Simple rules govern are society like "Thou shalt NOT kill". Theres nothing hard to understand about this libs, it means no abortion because you can NOT kill.

Death penalty Edit

He was against the death penalty. Look, when you take a life that means YOURE life needs to be taken. As a parent, anyone who messed with my wife and kids would be murdered to death. Theres nothing hard to understand about this libs, we HAVE to kill these people.

Iraq war Edit

He was against the war in Iraq and wants to bring the troops back. Look, how can you say troops should be brought back when there fighting a war? It really hurts them. Instead of saying you want to bring the troops home, improve mental and emotional feelings of are troops by saying you want to keep them over there.

Environment Edit

He goes through environmental bills step by step and tries to change them anyway he can to make businesses fail. Typical liberal.

Taxes Edit

As a liberal of course he supports tax. He thinks WE should pay for healthcare out of are taxes just so other people can have healthcare.

Gays Edit

He of course supported gays and voted against the Federal Marriage Commendment. So far gays are only able to get married in certain states all of which are VERY far from me, but at the same time there still to close for comfort. Look, I do NOT want these people near me. Marriage is defined as between a man and a woman. If we let men marry other men whats next? People getting married in threes? Companies selling brides to people to get married? Can you imagine? 

Death Edit

Finally God had enough and decided to show Kennedy whos the boss. So he smote him with brain cancer. Now the guys in hell and theres nothing more to say about that.

Legacy Edit

Unlike the Adams family or the Bush family who produced two presidents, the Kennedy family was very overrated as they only produced one president. Ted Kennedy could have been the other one but he ruined his familys legacy by committing murder.

Ad blocker interference detected!

Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers

Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.