200px-Starbucks Coffee Logo.svg-1-

Go drink youre latte you pretentious liberal

Starbucks Corporation is a cofeehouse chain that is the preferred hangout for pretentious latte libs. They like to sit around on there macs and browse PC blogs. It is the most venti coffehouse company in the world.

Birth and early life Edit

The first Starbucks was born in 1971 as a bean store. They would go around to different bean growers and go get beans out of there silo. No sooner had they started when  somebody suggested they should sell coffee too but they said come hell or high water they will NOT serve coffee. Then in 1987 they sold out. By this time all the lib baby boomers were drinking coffee all the time on the go and living there lifestyles of being pretentious. So it started to spread quick, like how Derek Jeter spreads herpes. By the time if its IPO in 1992 it had grown to 165 stores. Quickly they began to pop up all over the world and are now in 49 countries with locations in places such as Athen and Rome.

Business model Edit

Starbucks business model is to appall or disgust hard working conservatives by making them listen to liberal music, be around liberals, and like such as. I hate being around them in there peacoats and there COEXIST stickers (the race baiters are the ones who cant coexist with us) and there scarfs which are gay. Us REAL Americans hate that because God created Adam and Even NOT Adam and Steve. Thats why some people made an alternative which is a conservative independent coffee store where you can buy a shirt that says "Silly liberal, paychecks are for workers" while your enjoying your sitting for hours enjoying youre coffee. Also at Starbucks they have 4 sizes and there really confusing, like a tall is small and grande is medium. It reminds me of how fat kids wear husky or "plus" sizes instead of fat. Also even if you get a short which is teh extra small you can still expect the bill to be pretty big because these rich privileged latte liberals drive around in fancy limousines and just throw there money away. Also I hate how libs have no money and are always trying to talk about socialism and sharing to get handouts from my taxes.

Recent changes Edit

Theyve made a lot of recent changes. Number 1 they introduced a state of the art espresso system. Number 2 they said they plan to enter the energy drink market. Number 3 they will no longer use pre-ground beans. Number 4 they acquired the Coffe Equipment company. Number 5 they are NOT using milk from RGB cows. Number 6 they started a community website. Number 7 they started a lotalty program. Number 8 they are overhaling there menu chiefly to make it more pretentious and appealing to latte limousine liberals. Welcome to Obamas America. This is NOT recent change we can believe in. But I dont care and will NOT go to Starbucks anyway because there pretentious. I bet Starbucks favorite movie is Citizen Kane and they think when he says "Roselyn" its some great moment in film history. What a bunch of pretentious arthouse indie non-Independent libs.

Controversy Edit

A lot of extreme leftists think Starbucks is to moderate even though its liberal, and they think its crushing smaller stores. Those stores do NOT have the power to battle Starbucks and instead they have to close or sell. Well while I agree the Starbucks CEO is a galactic a@@hole thats actually a good move. Its actually a strategy which is known as the free market and if you have a problem with it then go move to China.

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