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Bachmann-1-

Whats the deal with liberals? Am I right people?

Michele Marie Amble Bachmann (born April 6, 1956) is an epic beauty and one of greatest people in American history. She is the United States Representative of Minnesota's 6th district and is an Independent. She is running for President in 2012 and is a shoo-in to win the Republican nomination and take are country back.

Early Career Edit

Bachmann helped to create New Heights Charter School in Minnesota. She knew that kids needed to be taught the basics like 12 Christian Principles, and NOT evolution. She also knew that Aladdin should NOT be shown in school because it promotes witchcraft and paganism. So they challenged her and she got mad and resigned. It was the start of something special.

State Senate Edit

Bachmann knew she had to run for State Senate to ban gay marriage. So she ran and was elected in Minnesota via the work of God. But God had bigger plans for her and He wanted her to run for U.S. House of Reprentatives. Bachmann and her husband fasted for 3 days to be sure thats what God wanted. And nothing happened so I guess thats what God wanted. 

House of Representatives Edit

Bachmann was elected to the House (good show) and immediately had the momentum of a runaway frieght train. How is she so popular? Well, Bachmann first of all knew balancing the budget is important, so she knows we have to spend more money on stuff we need like wars and LESS money on waste like healthcare and education. She knows that we need to investigate which members of Congress are anti-American. Lets get some spies and some police face sketchers and follow all the liberals around then get them on a list like with Joe McCarthy and kick them OUT of Washington DC. Shoo! Scamper away little lib and do NOT come back. And she knows that we need to have a tea party so that we can prevent socialism and have freedom, like we did in 1776 when we defeated the British. Night should be required reading, because it shows what happens when we let socialists have power, it leads to a Holocaust. And thats what we have to look forward to if we let Obama AKA Hitler AKA Stalin have power along with his vice president Biden who is literally Niketa Khruschev.

Political views Edit

Environmental Edit

Bachmann knows that global warming is a lie. Where being told that carbon dioxide is harmful. Conversely, carbon dioxide is used in plant life so how can it be harmful. Bachmann knows its NOT. So let us celebrate CO2 levels and let us drill baby drill. Lets have more logging and cut down all the timber. Lands were made to be explored so lets get some natural gas. And lets NOT use florescent light bulbs like a bunch of vegan hippie libs.

Education Edit

Bachmann knows that giving students bigger grants and less interest rates on there loans does nothing except gives the government more control over are lives and does NOT help the students. What the students want is LESS loans, HIGHER interest rates and to let the free market decide. If anything we need LESS students in school, so lets also make sure to cut afermative action so that only QUALIFIED people can get into school and NOT just coast in based on color like Obama did. Ask MLK what he would think of afermative action and he would have said it is WRONG. Also lets teach intelligent design in schools. Thats way more believable then teaching that we all came from chipumanzees or whatever.

Troops Edit

More troops. In honor of the American soldier please send him overseas. And one more thing...they need to STAY there. OK? Swiss people can be neutral if they want but this is AMERICA and that means lets have a bunch of troops everywhere and turn people into a glass parking lot. Support are troops.

Bailouts Edit

Read her lips. No. More. Bailouts. NOW. Simple economics tells us that bailouts will destroy America.

Census Edit

The 2010 census has frightening parallels to when Hitlers brownshirts went door to door to collect all the Jews. Could Obamas ACORN be doing the same thing? Are they going to come to are house at night and put in vans and then take us to concentration FEMA camps? I dont know, but the fact that no one else is asking the question is concerning to me. No worry. Bachmann is also alarmed at what might be going on and she does NOT want the census. So put youre file away census worker and get off my lawn. Boycott the census and let the free market decide how many people there are in America.

Health care Edit

No. NO. We will NOT have socilized health care in this country. If we have to throw a Super Bowl of freedom tea party then we will, whatever it takes to protect MY healthcare. My parents are frightened at the government taking over there healthcare and they have one thing to say "Keep your government hands off my medicaid." Bachmann to knows that the government trying to make us have health care is a matter of life and death and we can NOT let them. As she said "This cannot pass. What we have to do today is make a covenant, to slit our wrists, be blood brothers on this thing. This will not pass. We will do whatever it takes to make sure this doesn't pass." THIS. Literally we must be blood brothers in the covenent and slit are wrists. It is the only way we can protect are health. Frankly I would rather DIE then have socilized health care and be subjected to the death panels which Bachmann has uncovered.

Foreign policy Edit

We can NOT repeat the same mistakes with Iran that we did with Afghanistan and Iraq. Ports in the USA are unsafe and Iran could easily attack if we dont attack them first, just like with Afghanistan and Iraq. So we have to consider a nuclear strike. 

Gays Edit

NO gay marriage. God provided over the wedding of Adam and Eve NOT Adam and Steve. Whats next let cousins get married? Let nieces and nephews get married? Brothers and sisters? That is NOT what God intended.

Abortion Edit

No.

Gambling Edit

NO!

Freedom Edit

YES. Bachmann is a staunch supporter of freedom and one of the only people who wants people to have freedom and supports freedom. Tea party. Freedom.

Personal lifeEdit

Bachmann is married to a guy who is NOT gay.

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