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John Locke

(August 29, 1632 – October 28, 1704) was an influential philosopher. He said that MEN have natural rights which are life property and the pursuit of happyness (good show).
John Locke-1-

John Locke owned the Springfield nuclear plant


Early Life Edit

Locke didnt know much about his natural parents. He was working at a toy store playing mouse trap when a woman showed up. She was his mom and informed him that he was special, because he was going to help start America. He asked who his father was and she said God. He assumed this meant Glenn Beck but it was some other guy with grey hair NOT James Munro. Later he Found his Father but he got his kidney taken. He met his wife named Rachel but she was killed by the Empire and is amnesiac. He later develops a relationship with Celes. Then his father through him out the window and he was paralyzed. He went to go on a walkabout but you cant do that when your paralyzed because you cant walk about, literally. But this was his destiny. Hes supposed to do this damn it! So he took a plane and it crashed on an island probably due to Arabs.


On the Island Edit

Locke is known as an expert with knives because Obama took his guns, and he is a treasure hunter. He often talks about natural rights such as faith and being chosen by the island, which is property. This brings him in conflict with Jack Shepard who believes in reason, because he is an independent. Locke likes the smoke monster and also the hatch. But then he doesnt like the hatch so he blows up the hatch. Then he blows up a commies house and then he blows up a submarine. Locke is a MAN.


Beliefs Edit

Locke was chosen by the island to teach people that America is about having property and being able to kill people who come on youre property. Dont wanna get shot? DONT BREAK INTO PEOPLES HOUSES its pretty simple. Locke held his nose and voted for Mccain in the 2008 election. He believes that the mind is a 'tabula rasa' which is how he refers to Jacks girlfriend Kate which makes Jack mad because independents dont like when you abuse women. His writings influenced Rosseau to torture Sayid. He believes that fate has brought us together.


List of Major Works Edit

  • (1689)  A letter concerning tolerants and how PC libs have none
    • (1690) A second letter concerning tolerants
    • (1692) A letter concerning tolerants 3: Die Darkman Die
  • (1689) Two Treatises of Backgammon
  • (1690) An Essay about Dont tell me what I cant do
  • (1693) Some Thoughts Concerning Education and why the Department of Education should be abolished
  • (1695) The Reasonableness of Christianity and how your NOT reasonable if you arent Christian
    • (1695) A Vindication of the Reasonableness of Christianity and how we have to turn Islam into a Glass.Parking.Lot.NOW.
    • (1776) Declaration of Independents (co authored)

Legacy Edit

Karl Marx criticized Lockes theory of property. Nuff said. History has proven Locke right about everything which is why we have to go back to the island.  We all crashed on the island for a reason. We were never supposed to leave. We have to go back Kate. WE HAVE TO GO BACK

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