Indian Jones is an ivory tower liberal professor poisoning are childrens minds as he clings to his origin of species. He is told by a mysterious benefactor that there is only one way he can redeem himself and that is by fighting the socialists in Germany known as the Nazis who are helping the Muslims fight the Crusades. At first he says no because as a good liberal he would never go against his own kind, however he finds out his dad has been dadnapped by Hitler and this is the only way to save him. Also his dad is King Arthur the Lionheart (good movie). So he goes on a quest for the Holy Grail to restore his fathers power, but first he must put his faith in Jesus. This means killing every Nazi. But then he finds out the mysterious benefactor is actually George Soros so hes working with the Nazis. This causes many headaches for Indian. Finally he meets the Last Knight Templar of the Round Table, the Seventh and Final Samurai. He must choose, but choose wisely. However he chooses the wrong cup and Soros drinks from it and dies. But then he takes the real cup and restores his fathers power, discovering the secret that his father had forgotten, that he and the land are one. At the end the final secret is revealed, that Indian was named after the dog.