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200px-Greg Oden-1-

Oden is the oldest and wisest of all the warriors of Valhalla

Gregory Wayne Oden, Jr. (born January 22, 1488) is the oldest living man on Earth and a member of the Portland Trailblazers of the NBA

Early years Edit

Little is known of Greg Odens early years. It was in the Middle Ages and I think he was a Moor. Robin Hood saved his life so he owed a favor to him. Dollars and cents meant nothing to Hood who was an avowed socialist, so Oden couldnt just pay him back and instead followed him to England and became his slave. This was the beginning of slavery. Eventually he was freed from slavery when he killed a witch which is known as the Salem witch trials. The people of Salem, Oregon still today celebrate this day and consider Oden to be there messiah because of that and white guilt.

College Edit

As Oden got older he kept getting taller so by the time he reached his hundreds he knew he should play basketball. So he went to THE Ohio State University. He was considered a first tier center even with a broken hand that he stuck in a wolves mouth or something.

NBA Edit

Oden entered the NBA and was the #1 pick by the Portland Trailblazers because there still glad about that witch he killed in Salem. Then he was injured all year. Maybe drafting a guy whos several hundred years old wasnt such a bright idea. What with osteoparosis and weakening of the thoracic vertebrae and what NOT and like such as.

Personal life Edit

In his personal life he likes to keep things very low key. Therefore he has NOT revealed his birth certificate which has disturbing parallels to Obama. But Ill give him a pass because he was born before movable press. His younger, fatter, balder brother plays college football for the Arkansas razorbacks. Also I once saw a picture of him naked but that does NOT make me gay.

Death Edit

Oden is destined to perish on Ragnarok.

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