God (circa 5000 B.C. - A.D.) is an Independent who believes Americans should have freedom of will and NOT have there lives controlled by Him. He created the world and wrote the Bill of Rights and his invisible hand controls the free market. Although highly active a few millenniums ago, these days he is semi-retired and rarely gets involved in human affairs, although he does sometimes save random people from death for some reason which is known as a miracle. Also he will occasionally help musicians and atheletes to succeed in there careers. Also it was his idea to invade Iraq. [1]

Personal life Edit

God current resides in Heaven at the corner of 1st and Amistad. He has one biological son, Jesus, aged 2011 years, 6 billion living adopted children, and like 6 billion deceased adopted children. God loves ALL his children, and believes in a "tough love" approach of torturing them forever in the afterlife for mistakes they made in life. God agrees with OJ Simpson that if he killed Nicole he must have loved her very much, but thinks he killed her too quickly and painlessly to constitute true love. God in his spare time enjoys woodworking and pottery. He has been romantically linked to Sarah Palin.


God supports the death penalty and the infinite after death penalty. He describes himself as "to the Right of Atilla the Hun" and thinks that liberalism is a mental disease. He favors a return to Christian values such as a government based on the worship of Himself and is a strong advocate of the free market. God doesnt believe evolution should be taught in the classrooms and is strongly skeptical of global warming and science in general. He wants to see Obamas true birth certificate and is frustrated with where America is headed and thats why Hes voting Tea Party.


God is known for philanthropic endeavors such as helping random people to win awards, do well at sports, or survive accidents. God is the richest being in the world due to money that he EARNED (created out of thin air) and he donates that money to various charitable causes such as The Cross, Killing Abortion Doctors Without Borders and the Pray for Salvation Army. He also supports the American Cancer Society and hopes that one day people use free will to find a cure for cancer, but in the meantime pray to Him and maybe that cancer will just "go away" wink wink.



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