Birth and early life Edit
Cheney was born in a manger in Lincoln Nebraska. The three wise men came and offered him gifts of gold, myrrh and frakensense. Cheney responded that Franken has NO common sense and told two of the wise men to go fuck themselves. He then awarded a large government contract to the wise man who gave him the gold. Cheney's family moved to Wyoming and this is where he attended high school. He then went to Yale. He did NOT go to Vietnam because he received a deferrment and for any of you who say hes a chickenhawk all I have to say is hes probably shot more guys then you have so he HAS seen combat. Not everyone has to be a grunt to have an opinion on the war, in fact some people (John Carrey) in the armed forces are LESS qualified to talk about the war because they were swift boaters who got a purple heart bandaid.
Cheney became involved in politics and became the libs worst nightmare. He eyed libs like a snake eyes a mouse, as easy prey that stand no chance due to there weakness. He became Vice President in 2000 and dems did everything in there power to put him the hot seat. But Cheney always stayed calm and under composure and simply told the libs to go fuck themselves without loosing his cool.
Hunting accident Edit
Cheney was out hunting like REAL MEN often do and some guy stuck his face right near Cheney's gun and got himself shot. The guy apologized for the inconvenients he caused Cheney yet the liberal media continued to try to pretend it was newsworthy and try to get the scoop on this non-story. It wasnt like Cheney used a bazooka or anything, the guys still alive so whats the big deal? But these liberal gotcha shows like Chris Matthews Hardball and Keith Olbermanns Countdown wouldnt let it go. What a surprise both those shows are on MSNBC. Bias anyone? Also now this guy has a great story to tell people. "You wanna know how I got this scar". Lets NOT feel sorry for the guy who got shot, lets feel sorry for Cheney. All he was doing was bearing arms and these libs want to ruin his life over it. I bear an S&W at all times, you want to try to ruin my life libs? I dare you to try.
Post-presidency I mean Post-vice-presidency Edit
After leaving the White House Cheney has remained an outspoken independent. He has revealed that Obama plans to destroy America with his softness on terrorism and his naive liberal policies. If Obama keeps trying to NOT talk about how where at war all the time then its going to lead to more soldiers getting killed at Iraqi roadblocks or having torpedos fired at there bases. And without soldiers its only a matter of time before these terrorists hijack some planes and ingage are scrambling F-14s in dogfights, then defeat them and parachute into are cities to take are rights. I can see Osama bin Laden plunging in here right now, then pulling his rip cord while dropping grenades at the same time so he goes airborne while we blow up. There will be major bloodshed if we dont start killing some terorists NOW.