FANDOM


Scaliaisreal-1-

The 1798 edition of Websters dictionary does NOT have an entry for waterboarding so case dismissed

Antonin Scalia (born March 11, 1936) is a Supreme Court justice who is a CONSTUTIONALIST which means he believes in strict interpretation of the constution unlike that punk Barock Obama who wants to reduce us all to jungle law. He looks to the classical definitions of words unlike stupid people who use current dictionaries which is NOT what the founding fathers intended. He knows the best thing to do is find a dictionary from the late 1700s, find the definition that supports the outcome he wants, and then ignore all the other ones. Thats called upholding the principals of this country and being an indiependent.

Early life Edit

An only child, Scalia was born in Jersey and his dad was a Sicilian immigrant. As a guido, he often liked to shave his chest and leave the top buttons unbuttoned, put heavy amounts of spiker in his hair, tan himself orange, wax his eyebrows, and never smile when photographed. His folks were concerned with how he spent most of his time weightlifting in the garage of the house and drinking Grey Goose and how he called himself A-Bonez. One day his poppa said "Mamma mia Antonin, whatta you gonna do with youre life-a" and Scalia realized he was destined to do more than drive an IROC. He went to Georgetown and then went to Harvard Law where he was discovered to be the greatest legal mind of are time, but he doesnt want to brag. Times have just gotten tough in the legal profession these days with all these scumbag lawyers dragging down the median IQ.

Legal career Edit

He worked at a law firm and all that jazz, then as a professer at the University of Virginia, then some other crap, and then in 1982 Ronald Reagan appointed him to the Court of Appeals, and then 4 years later to the Supreme Court, where was confirmed 98-0 which broke the record held by John Wooden at UCLA.

Supreme Court Edit

Scalia is the most patroitic justice and one of the sole judges who operates as a strict originalist instead of as a lib activist. Thats why he voted with the majority on Raich v Gonzalez because the people who founded are country would have wanted it that way. The decision blew grass smoking slackers away but thats the way the Constution works smokey so deal with it and accept the fact that Scalia is an independent who will sometimes be a swing vote because both sides are bad. He dances to the beat of his own drum and based on that legal scholars are entranced with the his integrity and consistency. Hes a conservative who doesnt want the government meddaling in the affiars of you and I. Buisanesses shouldnt have to take a back seat either, as shown in Citizens United which finally showed that corporations were citizens like are founding fathers intended and we need to take there word as gospel. Also we dont need to pray gay people stop bringing suits to get rights because Scalia knows they shouldnt have any so theres nothing to worry about. Finally he realizes that the Founding Fathers would not have fought the Industrial Revolution against the British just to see some treehuggers try to make companies respect the environment, so good luck trying to win your case at the Supreme Court level you technology hating hippy!

Ad blocker interference detected!


Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers

Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.